I can take this anymore.....?

okay so this is going to be very long.my dad abuses me,he has been abusing me forever.my grandmother always understood me and she always cared for me.she always wanted to call children's services on my "dad"but she was afraid of what would happen to us.she was practically my mother.but she recently died and now i have no one to help me.my mom says things will change everytime my ad hurts me but she always lies about it.my aunt understands me just like my gramma did and she called the children's services and nothing happened.i mean the guy came,but he just asked us if anything happened recently which it didnt.and my aunt cant really help me anymore becuase she lives in Arizona.i am on the verge of breaking down.my heart just cant take this anymore.i want to kill myself :'[