If anyone has the time can they plz take the time to give me feedback ..i really need some this is killin me?

i would greatly appreciate any that takes the time out to respond but this situation is really keepin me off focus for starters my name is mike 19 and the two girls i mention are namedliz 18my ex, and maya 29 my gurl imma try to make this brief as possible.i still love liz to death. sometimes i wonder y and my girl maya is annoying as hell and im not attracted to her.I really feel like im letting liz play with my head we broke up shortly after i got evicted out my apartment when this happened things wasnt the best but she wanted to be there cuz she loved me and knew i needed her she stood strong 4 about a week and then she says we cant do this cuz i need to get myself together,fine understandable. but what made it hurt was the fact that since then she has been at some other boys houseeveryday cuttin school and all so now im in the street homeless and she is the only 1 im communicating wit but im trying to still get it together lookin snagging job interviews an everything.but things got no better this is what messed me up, she tells me she needs time away..ok so i dont call her as much but im dying inside cuz were not talkin and shes at some guys house everyday.so eventually i gave in to this other girl named maya i dont feel it for her but she kept me out the rain so i ****** wit her not doin anything just showing compion that she needed mind u im tellin liz evrything eventually maya was getting too hurt because i was incapable of feeling for her . me and liz was chillin 1 day and i was tellin her how much i love her and wanna work it out and how i feel bad that im making maya feel like she wasnt good enough.and liz says tome to not hurt her feelings and to give her what she needs and that she might **** the boy we be wit so i eventually stopped holdin out and ****** maya.i felt so bad though i told liz immediatly and she spazzed out "oh u dirty" "u dont love me" "u trifiling" and other stuff i heard from her and im stuck on stupid she even says "oh i was just about to ask u back until u did what u did ".and from then it just went downhill untill i plummeted just a couple hours ago where maya caught me on the phone wit liz she didnt say anything but it was late i no imma hear it when she wakes.im all ****** up now what litte feed back i get from u would help clear my head towards what i need to do btw me and liz did a year together through mad stuff i guess thats y i still tried to keep faith in us .